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You will wake up at daybreak next to me and realize
what a beautiful blunder you have made:
it was not the mutual trust of allowing
your moonless muscle to part my path. No, instead,
your perspective of me will shift in meaning
every time I feel neglected or unappreciated.
You will become powerless
when showering sporadically
in my salted tears—
there is nothing you can do in such cases;
nothing will be enough for me.
I love you, though.
I will love you endlessly!
You will bring me a remedy when I am ill,
provisions when I am hungry,
the stubbornness of your hands when I ache.
I will have nothing in return, though,
but my florescent culture dating back
to when Lucy walked this massive rock,
bouquets of fanatical kisses to plant
upon the thickness of your lips,
my heart with aged boot-prints
impressed on it.
You will grow in hate with my silence
and learn not to dissect
the emotion that follows it—
that curiosity may lead you to a trap door
you will wish you had never opened.
Despite what anyone says,
I did not subordinate my standards for you;
I finally found someone
who thinks like I write poetry.
You will understand that everything I do
is based off the reasoning of being human—
that is something I will be unapologetic for.
What you may not comprehend, though,
is that the hardest part about this love
is you watching me swallow
the vomit of my failures, my hardships
and saying, “I have eaten for the day.”
No matter how small I am in stature,
I am the heaviest weight you will ever carry.

- m.d. rayA Cursed Verse
, #m.d. ray #poetry #poets on tumblr #poem #spilled ink #cursed #verse #love #vomit #faliures #fail

When I left home yesterday, I crawled
through a slit in the wall
and began life.
Couldn’t help but feel helpless
as light hooked onto my flesh coloring it honey.
I was nothing but another collection of cells
occupying space on God’s blue earth,
an unknown voice
echoing through chaos and cosmos.

So if you catch me daydreaming,
don’t bother picking at me
like crusted wounds.
I’m just meditating between
bass clefs and metaphors,
trapped between
cognitive thinking and saying fuck it!
When I left home yesterday,
I left with nothing but the skin on my back
and a voice cornered in my throat.

You’ve got to feel what I’m saying
to dig this beat—my pulse—
my first steps to my dreams,
my hustle to stay afloat.
I need new reasons to cry
because it’s the same ol’, same ol’:
…and I’m hungry, and tired,
I’m lonely and scared …
It’s just the same ol’, same ol’.
This is the tune that hurts—
the first poem spewed into indigo sky.

- m.d. ray, 1989
, #m.d. ray #poetry #poets on tumblr #poem #spilled ink #1989 #birth #home #life #dreams #hustle #indigo #sky

When I feel small or alone in this world,
I remember that if every one around me
can smile and fill their mouths with laugher,
they can surely cry and crumble into countless pieces
because at one point, they must’ve felt the weight
of their heartache, heavy on their chest, too.
My sorrow still hangs over me like the night and day,
but I suddenly don’t feel so alone anymore.

- m.d. rayNot So One of a Kind
, #m.d. ray #poetry #poets on tumblr #alone #smile #laughter #cry #heartache #not alone #poem #spilled ink

You are god and the devil
rolled and sealed in one flesh and bone capsule
swallowed whole and regurgitated
by light and darkness.
You are warrior and slave set ablaze on a battlefield
of cognitive thinking—both good and evil.
So wake up. Wake up. Wake up, young titan,
and revive and rise from your dead thoughts
fueled by the world that has devoured your mind’s eye
and see again. Open your heart to a world
that could be has colorful as your imagination was
when you were young because age is a digit
that tracks the cage your trapped in, but you are endless.
You are forever like constellations, like cosmos;
forever like time, like the depths of the color black.
So when the tide washes you up on Earth’s gritty surface again,
what are you going to do with the time you have left
to seize before you are infinite?

- m.d. ray, YOLO
, #m.d. ray #poetry #poets on tumblr #YOLO #you only live once #wake up #rise #good and evil #God #devil #imagination #revive #mind's eye #poem #spilled ink #me tbh #tbh

Tonight, I want to stretch myself across the Caribbean,

pull the cork that lies at the bottom of the sea

until my ancestors flood me and I’m royal again.

I want Calliope to summon the slumbering muses

and charge at me like knights.

I want my husband to touch me

like the first time we laid together.

I want him to kiss my wounds,

to kiss my wounds,

to kiss my wounds

until he understands my hurt

and we are healed.

Tonight, I want to forget my failures,

I want to forget my successes and live

without amounting to anyone’s expectations

but my own. I want to step out

of this hollow shell of rotting flesh and bone

and become one with the dense smoke of my high;

whizzing into space when Earth crumbles

into hate and war,

into gats and guts,

into ash and dust.

I want to rise like a god into the twinkling black

and forgive my corpse for the disdain

that has overwhelmed my spirit—I’m sorry;

I was mortal then.

Tonight, I just want to smile

with freedom stretched wide across my mouth

because I’m at peace within this moment.

- m.d. rayOh, Just Wishful Thoughts Scattered Amongst the Mind
, #m.d. ray #poetry #poets on tumblr #Calliope #wounds #scatterbrain #hurt #wishes #wishful thinking #high #smoke #poem #spilled ink #me tbh #tbh
^